Nefarious: Merchant of Souls Official Trailer

This struggle isn’t anything new; and if you’ve ever been in a Bible Study or small group with me, you’re probably thinking “seriously, Liz . . . you’re still working on that?!” Perhaps this realization is due to the fact that I feel the need for prayer more than ever in my own life, as well as the need to depend on God’s wisdom in profound ways these days. I’m grateful for this, and the way that it humbles me to seek the wisdom of God, the encouragement of others and even admit my own weaknesses to those around me. Admitting weakness is not altogether a bad thing, I’m slowly realizing.

Colossians 4:12 reads:

Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God.

Here’s what struck me: Epaphras:

1. Struggled on behalf of the saints for the purpose that
2. They would stand mature and fully assured

So often my prayers for those I love are centered upon how their life may be easier or less stressful (much like what I tend to pray for myself). However, I’m wondering how often I really struggle in prayer for friends and family. “Struggling” in prayer provides the image of laboring, toiling . . . desperate for God to move.

My true desire for a consistent prayer life is not that (1) my conscience would be eased by doing “what I’m supposed to” or (2) being a “good Christian.” My desire for a fervent, dependant prayer life is that it would be reflective of a need for God that runs deep – both for my sanctification and yours.

I want to stand mature and fully assured of my place in Christ and His will. I want you to stand mature and fully assured of [your] place in Christ and His will. And I want to pray for this like a woman in labor, struggling on your behalf, following the example of Epaphras.

Now therefore, O our God, listen to the prayer of your servant and to his pleas for mercy, and for your own sake, O Lord, make your face to shine upon your sanctuary, which is desolate. O my God, incline your ear and hear. Open your eyes and see our desolations, and the city that is called by your name. For we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act. Delay not, for your own sake, O my God, because your city and your people are called by your name.

Taken from II Peter 3:18, Spurgeon writes:

“Grow in grace”— not in one grace only, but in all grace. Grow in that root-grace, faith. Believe the promises more firmly than you have done. Let faith increase in fulness [sic], constancy, simplicity. Grow also in love. Ask that your love may become extended, more intense, more practical, influencing every thought, word, and deed. Grow likewise in humility. Seek to lie very low, and know more of your own nothingness. As you grow downward in humility, seek also to grow upward—having nearer approaches to God in prayer and more intimate fellowship with Jesus. May God the Holy Spirit enable you to “grow in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour.” He who grows not in the knowledge of

Jesus, refuses to be blessed. To know Him is “life eternal,” and to advance in the knowledge of Him is to increase in happiness. He who does not long to know more of Christ, knows nothing of Him yet. Whoever hath sipped this wine will thirst for more, for although Christ doth satisfy, yet it is such a satisfaction, that the appetite is not cloyed, but whetted. If you know the love of Jesus—as the hart panteth for the water-brooks, so will you pant after deeper draughts of His love. If you do not desire to know Him better, then you love Him not, for love always cries, “Nearer, nearer.” Absence from Christ is hell; but the presence of Jesus is heaven. Rest not then content without an increasing acquaintance with Jesus. Seek to know more of Him in His divine nature, in His human relationship, in His finished work, in His death, in His resurrection, in His present glorious intercession, and in His future royal advent. Abide hard by the Cross, and search the mystery of His wounds. An increase of love to Jesus, and a more perfect apprehension of His love to us is one of the best tests of growth in grace.

Did you catch that – I mean, really catch it?!

Believe the promises more firmly than you have done. Seek to lie very low, and know more of your own nothingness. He who does not long to know more of Christ, knows nothing of Him yet . . . search the mystery of His wounds.

Imagine this beautiful picture that Spurgeon paints for us of a well whose depths cannot be reached. But it is not empty. The more parched you grow, the more endless it becomes; its depths simply cannot be reached. This is what it is to know Christ. The greater your hunger is, the more fully He satisfies.

What does it mean to grow as a Christian? What does it really look like to be closer to Christ?

I’ve been a believer for more than two decades, and these are questions that I often ask myself. While there may not be a physical, spiritual growth chart available for purchase through LifeWay (although at times, it seems that would be nice), Spurgeon lays out for us this morning one way we can ensure closer growth to Christ: “Believe the promises more firmly than you have done.”  Yes! Drawing near to God means trusting Him, believing our need for Him and resting in His control over our lives more now than we did yesterday.

Here’s the reality: None of us have a clue what 2012 holds in store. Not.one.clue. That could be really scary. However, even if we find ourselves fearful of the unknown, we are given a golden opportunity to know Christ more. Through heartache, He is your comforter. Through loss, He is your friend. Through sickness, He is your creator and healer. Through joy, He is your source.

We can be sure of nothing in the future aside from the reality of God, who controls and sustains all things; and loves us. Let’s believe His promises more firmly, friends, and grow together in the days to come.

*Taken from Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening. Buy it HERE (you really should).

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.”

This passage provides such a stunning picture of a deep-rooted tree that simply cannot be moved. A tree whose roots are so firm that regardless of what storms it may need to weather, it stands. It won’t budge. I don’t think it’s coincidental to find this chapter as the starting point for the book of Psalms. At the beginning of a book of honest worship and supplication, and before the wisdom literature of Proverbs, we are given a glimpse of what steadfastness looks like. Wisdom is found in the Lord and security comes through righteousness.

I pray that 2012 will find both me and you more firmly rooted in Christ. Let’s cease striving in our own efforts and yearn to grow more confident only in being found rooted in Him. That we “may know him and the power of his resurrection” (Phil. 3:10).

Did you catch that?! “That we may know Him.” There is no higher goal. There is no greater joy.

Getting a place here can be a daunting task, as the rental market is fierce and the requirements are rigorous. You can essentially compare it to the same process of buying a house, between all the paperwork and income you need to provide. Thus, coming into this city with partial support and a part-time job was making the $1,200 or so needed for efficiency rent looking grim.

A couple of months ago, a couple from church (Anthony and Hannah) had me over to their house for dinner, and as we were talking about where I could/should/might look for apartments, they were pulling things up online that I could check out (again, in the $1,200 range). There was this one property that was definitely too good to be true, it seemed. One bedroom, dishwasher, stainless steel appliances, doorman, laundry room, great neighborhood . . . and the list goes on. To top it off, the rent price was about half the cost due to the apartment being rent stabilized by NYC.

Anthony quickly said, “Ok – this has got to be some kind of joke, but if this property is for real, you need to jump on it.” I applied the next morning without high hopes, all the while knowing the Lord knows my needs best. That application began a month-long process that I could only compare to what I’ve heard about wedding planning . . . it was not fun, friends. Further, I had no promise of a “wedding” at the end of this journey.

There were several points over those few weeks where it looked like I had secured/lost the apartment and it all came down to a week-long waiting game for a letter I needed to have faxed from a former employer (yes, evidently, people still use fax machines). It was crazy. The process also entailed required other documentation from CPAs, employers, banks, etc., etc., etc. I also needed a guarantor to secure the place, since I haven’t been in the city for a year. Through all this, the Lord essentially kept taking me to places of dependence on those in my life, as I had to humble myself and ask for help.  It was amazing to watch Him provide through you.

I had a sense that the Lord was doing some unbelievable things, but then it was all confirmed at the lease signing, as one of the agents said the following to me:

So, you’re the lucky girl – you should know that there are hearts breaking all over this city over not getting this apartment . . . you don’t understand: I have hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of applications sitting on my desk for this place. Even though the property is no longer listed, I’m still getting about 30 applications a day . . .

And then, she said this:

I don’t know how your application caught our eye, but you’re very lucky.

I was simply in awe. I knew that the only reason my flimsy application caught her eye was the Lord’s favor. Nothing I deserved, but simple, free, unmerited favor from the Lord. I have literally been astounded.

So a few weeks have passed, and after several fairly stressful visits to IKEA, harried trips across the city to buy light bulbs, trash cans, ice-cube trays and such, and an uncountable reminders of God’s goodness, I am officially settled. So settled, in fact, that my NY state driver’s license is on its way to me (a whole ‘nother process in itself).

This brief account doesn’t scratch the surface of how I’ve seen God provide. I have never been at a place in my life where I am literally more fully aware of His paternal care.

Thank you for your prayers, friends – and for your many expressions of rejoicing with me.

How You Can Pray For Me:

You can continue to pray as I look towards the next year and sort through what my support needs are for a full-priced apartment once this one-year lease is up. And of course, you can pray that the Lord would bring me to the place where I have a full-time support team so that I can give all my time to The Gallery. Praying and working and trusting towards that end.  Love you all.

Apartment

When I moved to NYC in September, I stayed for the first couple of months with some friends from The Gallery (who have since become so dear to me). Looking at apartments here can be so incredibly overwhelming as the process is daunting and the market is fierce.  However, the Lord has provided not just what I need for the time being, but 1,000 times more abundantly than I could have imagined. I’ll post the full story in the next week or  so when I have more time, but for now – let me just publicly express how grateful I am.

Part-Time Job

A few weeks ago, I began working at Williams-Sonoma. Grateful for the Lord’s provision of a job during a time when so many people are looking. I’m pulling a lot of hours right now due to the holidays, but excited about the relationships forming there and the opportunity to be salt and light.

Thanksgiving

Many of you have asked about my plans for Thanksgiving, and I am happy to report that (as planned) I thoroughly stuffed myself smack-full of turkey and dressing and the whole nine yards.  Kelly and Brooke Love, who are also on staff at The Gallery, had a host of family in from Alabama. They asked me to join in the family fun weeks and weeks ago, and so I made my way back to Brooklyn for a couple of days, and it was splendid. Alarms went off at 4:00 a.m. so we could head to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, which was a blast (picture to left is Brooke and I at the parade). After the parade, we successfully napped and then feasted for hours on end.

I trust you had a blessed Thanksgiving yourself.  My heart is overflowing with the truth of how good the Lord is. More to come.

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

The Psalmist’ admonition reminded me that not only are we to trust in the Lord as our refuge, but we are also to verbalize to the Lord His place as our refuge. God is faithful and protective over us at all times, but it demonstrates our trust in Him and love for Him when we affirm His place as such. It is good to tell the Lord who He is and what He means to us. He knows our hearts, but we ourselves are even affirmed when we speak aloud of the Lord’s faithful nature. This, my friends, is a sweet chapter in God’s Word. Read it if you get a few spare minutes. Take it in, and tell the Lord today that He is your fortress (if indeed, He is).

I was reminded of the Lord’s place this weekend as I spoke on the topic of God’s Word at a women’s retreat in Dansville, NY. I felt so very inadequate, but was brought to a place of complete dependence on God through the opportunity. Those situations are necessary, so that I am reminded of my inadequacies apart from Christ. Not that I consider these circumstances deep affliction, but I was reminded on Saturday of Psalm 119:71:

It was good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.

The weekend went well, and as soon as I remembered on Saturday morning that the retreat was not about my speaking abilities, personality or ability to please people . . . I grew surprisingly calm. There is a peace that comes when your sole aim is to make much of Christ and spread His glory.

May I be faithful to do this for many, many more years. I expect you to hold me to this, friends, for the glory of Christ.