Several years ago, I swore that I would never have a blog. Amongst the many reasons for my adamancy was the fear that I would not post regularly enough, and that my little blog would just become another black hole in cyberspace.
Sadly, the season of life I am in does not lend itself to much extra time devoted to writing. Thus, I resign myself to a break from blogging. Actually, I would like to think of it more as a season of sabbatical (that way, I don’t feel as guilty). Regardless, I will not be posting anything new for a couple of months, until I am closer to having my ministry support raised.
So, while I am officially “that girl” who isn’t adding anything new for a while . . . you can’t say I didn’t warn you.
If we are completely honest with each other as Christian women, I don’t think one of us would say that we have an ideal prayer life. I will be the first to admit that the devotion of prayer is one of my areas of spiritual weakness. Although I believe in the mandate, necessity and power of prayer, I am not often quick enough to cast my burdens before the Lord (I Peter 5:6-7). This is an issue of my own disobedience and personal discipline, and I admit to needing all the help and encouragement I can get. Personally, I know that a sluggish prayer life directly relates to my supposed self-sufficiency. When I am attempting to be independent and strong-willed, it is very unlikely that I am relying on the Lord as I should in prayer. The correlation is unavoidable.
I will be vulnerable here and admit that the desire for instant gratification is often, I believe, a discouragement to my prayer life. While I wholeheartedly believe the Lord hears our requests and answers them in His perfect timing and wisdom, I also know that I enjoy getting things when and how I want them. Thus, perseverance and passion in my prayer life must be accompanied by the encouragement and example of those around me.
For all these reasons and more, I was excited to hear about Prayergates, a new site launched from B&H Publishing Group with the purpose of engaging women together in prayer. From the website:
Our vision is tens of thousands of women joining together in prayer for release from spiritual strongholds in their lives. Our vision is tens of thousands of homes, churches, and communities radically transformed. Our vision is tens of thousands of women more closely conformed to the image of Christ through their prayers. Our vision is even one woman- perhaps you-who finds hope in Christ at these gates of prayer.
The foundation of Prayergates is the account of Paul and Timothy’s visit to Philippi in Acts 16. In this chapter, we read that they went to the gate of the city, expecting to find people gathered in prayer. Lydia was among the women gathered, and her conversion occurred on that day. As you look at the site, you may be asking yourself several questions:
- Why the need for yet another online networking resource?
- Why do I need to connect with women I don’t know, when I have friends and the local church?
- How am I supposed to use this site?
In brief, let me address these questions:
- Most of us are aware that social media has essentially become the handwritten note of the day. Electronic communication has completely changed communication both in and outside of the workplace. Personally, I know that if I really need to get a message to somebody, it would probably be more effective to direct message them on Twitter or send a text message than it would to begin a game of phone tag. While this is not always the best way to communicate, is has generally become the most effective for relaying information. However, it is important not to look at Prayergates as just another web
site that requires you to think up a creative username and password – I encourage you to consider it a tool for growth in your prayer life. - Involvement in the local church is an essential tool for spiritual growth and obedience. Sometimes, though, it is easy for us (as women) to get wrapped up into our circles of “us four and no more.” After all, it is more comfortable that way. While having close friends who sharpen you is essential, it is also healthy to look beyond our circles of comfort to see other places and lives where we may be able to invest. Prayergates offers the opportunity to reach beyond what’s just familiar and interact with the church worldwide – which is a unique and needed opportunity in our lives.
- Finally – down to the practical issues of how to best use this site. First, you will need to create a profile, similar to other networking sites. There is a Prayer Wall, on which you can both post prayers and search prayers by other users. There are also Prayer Circles, which are dedicated to certain topics, locations, etc. The exciting thing about Prayer Circles is that as a registered user, you are able to create circles for specific topics or needs. For example, you may want to create a prayer circle for your women’s ministry at church, small group Bible study or even members of your extended family. The possibilities are endless.
Aside from the items listed above, there are a variety of other resources and tools made available through Prayergates, with more to unfold in the weeks to come. I am thrilled about this resource and its stated purpose of helping women to find hope in Christ. As you peruse the locations of other Prayergates users and fellowship with them through prayer, may you be reminded of the coming kingdom and unhindered fellowship that awaits us there. The opportunity to spiritually connect with women from all nations is rare, and any website that points us to that is worth bookmarking.
I have several friends that are in the intense process of waiting for something. Whether it’s a new job, deliverance from a difficult situation, or waiting for a relationship to move to the next level, waiting fills their lives. I must say that the act of waiting, I believe, is one of the most challenging things we face. Waiting can weaken our faith in God’s providence, or it can bolster our confidence in His wisdom. Waiting on something that we know will come to pass is one thing – we know it’s coming, so there is confidence that we have in the things that are known.
What does it do to your faith, though, when you do not know whether or not something will come to pass? Does it rattle your faith to think about the fact that the Lord may allow you to remain in difficulty for a prolonged season simply to grow more conformed into His image?
In thinking of waiting and deliverance, my mind always turns to the response of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego when they were being tossed into the fiery furnace as punishment for not bowing down to false gods and a golden calf:
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. [18] But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” -Daniel 3:16-18
Don’t miss the significance of verse 18: ”But if not . . .” I think I was in high school when the weight of this verse struck me. Just as they are about the be tossed into open flames, these men display a confidence in the Lord that would surpass even the comfort of their own physical lives. They believed God would rescue them from the flames. However, they remind Nebuchadnezzar that “even if He doesn’t . . . we still will not serve you.” The confidence Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego displayed in the living and true God was stronger than an physical comforts or earthly confidence.
I wonder how different our Gospel witness would be if we displayed a more consistent spirit of confidence in the Lord’s deliverance and protection over our lives. If we replied to those who critique the providence of God with a spirit of “I know He will deliver me . . . but even if He doesn’t . . .” I assume we would care less about our comfort and more about our obedience.
I know this is not an easy task – I’ve been there . . . when it seems the light at the end of the tunnel will never meet your eyes and you wonder how in the world the Lord will redeem your circumstances. Seasons of trial are not fun, but they are perhaps our greatest teacher. Sometimes, I think, the Lord has to put us through the fire in order to teach us things we would not otherwise learn. While Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego trusted in God’s deliverance mentally, they did not experience it until after the flames surrounded them. The deliverance of God in their lives took on a whole different meaning after physically coming out of the furnace unscathed.
I have learned in recent years that the Lord desires to teach us more of Himself in all seasons that He allows us to experience. In seasons of joy, perhaps it is His bounty that we are to rejoice in. In seasons of pain, perhaps His protection and paternal care are what we are to cling to most. Regardless of what we face, there is opportunity to learn more of His character and grow more confident in His will – for He ordains it all.
A graceful example of waiting is seen in the life of Joni Ereckson Tada, who became a quadriplegic due to a diving accident at age 17. After forty-one years in the wheelchair she prays:
Oh thank You, thank You for this wheelchair. By tasting Hell in this life, I have been driven to think seriously about what faces me in the next. This paralysis is my greatest mercy. (Christianity Today, January, 2004, 50).
May we be a people who wait patiently for the Lord’s deliverance, whether it comes in this life or the next.
I am so grateful to my friend (and photographer extraordinaire) Jason Coobs for taking some much-needed headshots the other day. Jason and his family are long-time friends. You should take a few minutes to check out his work HERE. If you are in or around the Louisville area and need a photographer, you can contact Jason by using the following contact information:
Phone: 404-915-4321 Email: jason@jasoncoobs.com
I realized a few months ago that I needed a decent picture or two, after spending way too much time cropping a picture to look suitable for professional needs.
Thanks, Jason – great work!!
If you know me at all, you would probably agree that I was the poster child for Southern Baptist life growing up. My family was literally at church every time the doors 
were open (we were often the ones opening and closing the doors). I was a Cubbie, Sparky, and a G.A. I was also a part of the “Young Timothy” group in high school . . . where we had special meetings for those called to full-time vocational ministry. If there was something to be involved in, I was there. Everything from painting fences in Poland to playing basketball in South Africa to serving the homeless in Knoxville fills my ministerial resume. The local church has simply been my life, for all of my life. In my house, the only way you got out of church was by having a fever or vomiting – that was it. Further, there was absolutely no room for missing church on Sunday morning for one of these reasons and then being magically “healed” on Sunday afternoon to play. Sickness bad enough to keep you from worship also kept you from activity for the rest of the day. That’s just the way things ran at the Lockwood house.
I am not complaining. I truly am grateful for the upbringing I had, and to have been raised in a family where church life was so interwoven into our family structure. That structure, I believe, was foundational in shaping the woman I am today. As I grew into my high school years, I became involved in every possible Bible Study/Accountability/Discipleship group that it was possible to be involved in. I went to alot of small group meetings. My parents essentially ran a shuttle service between our house and the church. Often, when picking me up from an ”accountability” meeting, my dad would ask me the question, “What did you girls talk about? Did you really do accountability?” Of course I would always answer “yes” even though I knew that those ”prayer times” were sometimes not much more than a time for fellowship. It was (and still is) very easy to mistake conversation about God for actual growth through accountability. I wish this mistake was limited to my high school years.
My dear friend Laura and I were discussing the issue of accountability the other day and agreed that it is not an easy thing to be vulnerable about sin. There are various reasons for this, but I believe that pride and insecurity often lies at the root of my hesitancy to confess sin. The problem with a lack of true accountability in our lives is that hidden sin equates to harbored sin. I would like to believe that I am able to repent of and turn from sin “all by myself,” but that is simply not the case. In addition to the Holy Spirit, I am in need of mature believers who can help me in this battle.
Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us that “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Our hearts are indeed sick. If we understood the gravity of sin, I believe, we would move much more quickly to confess. However, sin often acts as the salve of disobedience; we harbor it while it attempts to destroy us.
Over the past few years, I have grown in the recognition of my need for women who will speak truth into my life. I have also grown in the knowledge that their ability to sharpen me spiritually depends upon my level of transparency with them. As much as I love and trust these women, transparency is always a struggle for me. I know that they have my best interest at heart, that they desire to see me grow in the truth and that they do not rejoice in my spiritual failures. However, it is still hard to expose my areas of weakness.
A practice I have been learning to develop in the past couple of years is in the art of honest confession. Being able to swallow my pride, pick up the phone and say “Hey, I just need to confess that I am struggling with __________.” is crucial in the process of accountability. Those twelve words are pivotal in my battle to overcome sinful habits. In fact, although it may often take days or weeks to work up the courage to confess, I am immediately relieved once the confession is spoken. This is not coincidental . . . the relief is there because I no longer carry that burden on my own. In fact, it is amazing to look back and see that the sins I confess are often the ones that I am able to turn from with much greater ease.
I pray that in the years to come, I will grow into a woman who is more concerned with ridding sin than I am with trying to keep up the perception of an unhindered spiritual life. I know that I am prone to deceive myself, and recognize that when I look into a mirror alone for accountability, I see what I want to see. Confession provides a means of proper perception. May true accountability be characteristic in our lives and churches, as we anticipate the day when sin will meet its ultimate death.
Carseats and Complementarians: How Submission Sometimes Appears to be a Weakening of My Will
“That is just like a woman . . . look at her.”
This statement from my female co-worker sounded so different from the usual “man-hating” phrases you get accustomed to hearing in the marketplace and culture. In fact, I would guess that for every time I’ve heard “that is just like a woman,” I have probably heard “that is just like a man” a hundred times over. “What do you mean?” I asked Sylvia, as she gazed out the window. “Well, just look – she is carrying the car seat with the baby, diaper bag, purse and drink. She can barely walk with all that in her hands. If she would just ask her husband to help her, he would be glad to. They’re in here all the time. I know he would help her.” “You’re probably right” I replied. The woman’s husband was still sitting at the table they shared when she decided it was time to load up the car. So in one quick movement, she picked up all the things that they had carried into the store together and attempted to maneuver it alone.
Sylvia continued, “You know, women are always complaining that men are the problem and that we have to do everything because men won’t. Well, that’s just not true. If women would ask men for help more often and if we would let them know that we need them, I think things would be more healthy.”
In agreeing with Sylvia, I also felt the sting of her words. I, too, am guilty of refusing help when asked by a man to carry a heavy box, get a door, or grab something that is out of reach. There have been many times when a man has graciously offered to help me, and I simply refuse. Now, this is not because I am a closet feminist, or because I am trying to make a statement of independence – far the contrary. I mean, I worked for The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and [happily] received two degrees from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary – I am hardly a raging feminist. However, there are exercises of independence that I have grown very comfortable with in my womanhood, and I am finding that there is a certain level of security that comes with knowing that I can do things on my own.
I remember the first time that the toilet broke in my apartment. Rather than asking for help, I went down to the local hardware store, did some research, bought the parts and repaired my toilet – proudly. And then there was the time I bought my first home. Rather than asking for help painting, I spent almost literally 24 hours a day for a solid week covering my walls with color on my own . . . because I just knew that I could do it. A couple of years ago when I moved, I took on the responsibility of driving a sixteen foot moving truck – again, on my own. With all my earthly possessions in tow, and my car being pulled behind the truck, I set off on the somewhat stressful (and slightly rewarding) task of moving myself . . . I could barely see over the steering wheel. It wasn’t until I wedged the truck in jackknife fashion at a gas station in the mountains that I thought “this may not have been a good idea.” Nonetheless, I did it – all by myself.
I am not at all saying that it is wrong for women to learn to do things on their own. In fact, it is healthy to know how to survive and manage one’s life. However, there is a fine balance to be found between independence and submission. Am I physically capable of moving a bunch of boxes into a moving truck? Yes, I am. Am I smart enough to take my car to the auto repair shop on my own? Yes (I did it this morning). Do I possess the knowledge to put a piece of furniture together by using the provided instructions? Again, yes. In fact, at some point or another, I have done all of these things in my own effort. I understand, though, that sometimes, living out my proper role means that exerting my independence is not completely appropriate, and if I am offered help – I should take it. As easy as this sounds, my will often resists. This is not a discussion of mental intellect or physical abilities. Rather, it is an issue of supposed “rights” and authority . . . and this is where the rub lies in our culture and churches.
The God ordained headship given to men means that they have an innate responsibility to lead and protect. Genesis chapter three gives us a clear example of this, when God specifically seeks out Adam following the first disobedience. John Piper provides a well-researched and biblically grounded argument for this in Chapter One of the book Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, available in its full PDF form HERE. Piper states:
“Suppose a man and woman (it may be his wife or sister or friend or a total stranger) are walking along the street when an assailant threatens the two of them with a lead pipe. Mature masculinity senses a natural, God-given responsibility to step forward and put himself between the assailant and the woman. In doing this he becomes her servant. He is willing to suffer for her safety. He bestows honor on her. His inner sense is one of responsibility to protect her because he is a man and she is a woman.”
Although I am capable of doing many things, I am not obligated or expected to do all possible tasks. The beauty of the created order as God ordained it is that men and women complement one another with their innate gifts and abilities. The discussion on these issues is much broader than I can address in this post. However, this very issue is so crucial in the discussion of Biblical womanhood, and it is healthy for me to regularly think through how I am/am not honoring the roles and responsibilities granted to me as a woman. My flesh fights against submission and my will must be trained to follow. As I have stated before, I live most freely when I am within the bounds of complementarity provided by the Lord.
As the mantra of the feminist culture around me screams, “I am a woman; hear me roar,” may I honor both God and the men who surround my life by proclaiming, “I am a woman; watch me follow.”
I very regularly ask myself and others how I can doubt the Lord when I live under the shadow of His faithfulness to me. It is actually embarrassing to think that I doubt the God who:
- Created the cosmos with the breath of His mouth and the power of His will
- Redeemed my life from the pit of rebellion and self-rule
- Sustains me continually by the beat of my heart and the involuntary breathe of my lungs
- Causes the sun to rise daily on the just and unjust
These four truths should be sufficient grounds for daily belief. However, God always does “far more abundantly than all we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20). So, while these truths are foundational to my life, they are not where the Lord’s provisions end.
Strive with all diligence to keep out that monster unbelief. Its injurious nature is so venomous that he that exerciseth it and he upon whom it is exercised are both hurt thereby. In thy case, O believer! it is most wicked, for the mercies of thy Lord in the past, increase thy guilt in doubting Him now. Away, then, with this lying traitor unbelief, for His only errand is to cut the bonds of communion and make us mourn an absent Savior. – C.H. Spurgeon
Today I have been p
ondering what unbelief does in the believer’s life, and am realizing with great clarity that there is no benefit in doubting the Lord’s character, purposes or will. Trusting in His providence means that we will accept all that comes from His hand. While this is certainly not always an easy task, it is our only proper response.
For fear of sounding too pious or cliche’, let me be careful to add the diligence that is involved in believing. We must understand that belief is a battle against which our flesh intends to win.* When the night is dark, our tendency is to doubt His direction. We must often remind ourselves of who He is and what He has done in order to maintain a healthy perspective of His present goodness. When we choose to live in a discipline of belief, there are some very immediate results that take place:
- We will not be drawn to despair over every challenge faced
- We will be able to more completely comfort those around us, out of the abundance of our own confidence in the Lord
- We will be less prone to manipulate our lives towards what we think is best
- We will maintain a more healthy perspective on the kingdom
- We will be drawn to read the Word and fellowship with the Lord in prayer. The person who believes God’s promises and purposes will desire to regularly learn more of them.
Unbelief is indeed a monster of betrayal in the Christian’s life. It can sap your joy, drain your strength and replace the truths you rely upon. As Spurgeon noted, unbelief makes our Savior seem distant. I am asking the Lord to help me believe and trust Him to a greater degree, and I recognize that I need His help to do this. When faced to despair, may I hope and when afraid to trust, may I wholly abandon all doubt. Although uncertainty and darkness will come, I know my Shepherd, and I choose to believe that His protective staff will be my guide . . . and the very tool that I can use to slay the monster of unbelief.
*Battling Unbelief by John Piper is an excellent resource on this topic.
My little brother just uploaded some childhood photos to Facebook. Wow . . . I thought I would share a couple of these pictoral treasures with you:
Me and my brothers (probably around 1986)
This was probably early 90’s – in case you couldn’t tell from my bangs. It was obviously Christmas time, noticeable from my sweatshirt.
I admit that the title of this post is a bit on the cheesy side. It sounds a little too much like the front of a Hallmark card or something you might see etched on the front of a hot pink picture frame. I guess, though, that this line is used so often because it gets the point across . . . friendships really are a blessing, and clever marketing reminds us of this on almost every shelf in a gift shop.
One of the benefits this transitional juncture of life is affording me is the opportunity to reconnect with so many dear friends. Yesterday marked the one month mark of “unemployment” for me (which really gives me a slight case of heartburn to think about). However, these past four weeks have been a needed season of refreshment and fellowship.
The older I get, the more I come to recognize that the Lord purposed fellowship for reasons even beyond our known needs. I think it is easy to categorize friendship into something that is defined by people we enjoy and share common interests with. However, when we look at the scope of Scripture and understand the eschatological nature of being united in Christ, “friendship” suddenly takes on a significant new meaning in our lives. I am thankful for men and women who encourage me and lead me to enjoy this abundant life. However, I also need these people to remind me of the Truth on a regular basis. I am reminded of the Gospel when they confront my sin, and I am reminded of Christ’s love when they respond to my faults with compassion and grace.
Just like all other things, friendships are entrusted to us by the Lord, and we are called to be a good steward of our relationships. This trust has some very practical applications:
- We should not harbor bitterness or an unforgiving spirit
- We must have genuine concern for the holiness and sanctification of our Christian brothers and sisters
- We must anguish over the souls of the lost friends and family that we have
- We should sincerely put others’ needs before our own
- We should be vulnerable, and open to give and receive accountability and rebuke, when necessary
- We should be truthful in all relationships
The list above could go on, but I am thankful to currently be learning the value of each above statement. It is a blessing to have men and women in my life who know me well – with all my transparent weaknesses – and who love me still. In those moments when my eyes are opened to how selfish I really am, and how much people [still] care about me, I am reminded of the magnitude of the Gospel . . . and that, friends, might just lead me to send you a Hallmark card labeled “The Gift of Friendship.”
What an insanely busy time the past three week s have been. It feels like ages since I have been in any semblance of a normal routine or schedule. For those of you who know me well, you know how I thrive on a schedule. It would take hours to detail all the events that the past month has held, so I will quickly bullet-point everything for you.
- July 16: Finished both jobs in Charleston
- July 17: The Lister clan arrived to Charleston
- July 22: The portable storage people hauled away 98% of my earthly possessions
- July 31: Closed on my home in Charleston and grew even more amazed of God’s sovereignty over details.
- July 31: Said some final (and tearful) goodbyes
- July 31: Drove to Knoxville
- August 1: Drove to Louisville
- August 2: Drove to Niles, MI
- August 2-7: Attended Revival Week at Life Action/Revive Our Hearts. You can watch the Revival Week services HERE.
- August 8: Drove to Louisville; unpacked the remainder of my things
- Today: Driving to Nashville for a Ministry Partner Development trip (the first of many to come)
In coming days and weeks, I hope to go through some of the above bullet-points and share how I have watched the Lord’s wise hand weave in and out of the details. I am honestly still processing through a lot of things and find myself grateful to serve a God who cares so deeply for us.
The past week spent at ministry headquarters granted such confirmation of the Lord’s guidance to that place. It was a wonderful week of spiritual exhortation, fellowship and needed encouragement. While there, we took the annual Revive Our Hearts staff picture. These individuals have already grown very dear to my heart and I eagerly await joining them in Michigan. To God be the glory; great things He has done!
